This is one of those multi-thousands of followers Twitter folks, a "celebrity" among the Twitter people. I thought at first, aw, shit, am I just star struck? And I'm always honest, so I know there's some of that. Then I considered, what makes me like that he's a "star?" There's something that makes me feel special to be "selected" by someone who in a lot of ways has access to thousands and thousands of people's attention.
Back in the 90s I chatted some with Mike Doughty (then just "Doughty") of the band Soul Coughing. He left backstage passes to a show at one point which I giddily accepted. Nothing came from this, but it's the same kind of situation (though the Twitter thing is less flirty). Someone who had qualities I actually liked, but also had qualities I might have rejected him for if he weren't "famous" (relatively speaking) got my attention because he paid attention to me.
In the case of this Twitter guy, it's certainly more than his many followers and good writing that made me suggest we meet. It was also a very casual suggestion on my part, not something I'd reorganize my life to make happen. He seems nice, though, in the very (very) limited chats we've had. It would be one of those harmless/make an online person a fuller picture cups of coffee.
When STBX asked me (because his girlfriend had asked him) what my plans were for dating, etc. I said with what I realize sounds like significant arrogance, "When I'm ready, I'll have my pick... I'm not worried about it. I'm just not ready, yet." I actually do believe it's true, that I'll have my pick of men. That's only because I'm not attracted to or interested in men who aren't attracted to or interested in me. So, of course, I'll be able to date whoever I want because I'll only want those who want me. Simple, yeah?
Now my mind has wandered onto that guy I was hitting on online who ended up calling me "creepy" and how he's not someone who wanted me when I wanted him. Though, that's not true. He was definitely reciprocating. When he started misreading me, I stopped being interested in him. So, yes, I guess it still holds true.
All of us, I expect, enjoy feeling special. That "picked out of a crowd" is something some of us enjoy more than others. I've always been very upfront with my star struck personality. Seems silly to pretend I think it means nothing if someone's particularly popular with a "public." But after that initial "neato!" bit wears off, it's really clear even the real celebrities are just people. Real people to whom a lot of people pay a bit of extra attention. Gack to that sentence. Hitting publish anyway.


